Concert Review

for that show that was at the fucking Paradise Lost. Monday the 20th, 2009 in the year of Ronald Reagan: it goes like this:

 Right then I was walking in. right now, but then. i got a green plastic strip, this hot girl put it on my arm because i showed her my face on a plastic card. plastic cards are cool. the makai started before i got there, but that's fine because i'm fucking cool.

mario was with me too.

he had a camera.

so The Makai were ripping it. screaming. the guitars were exploding through you as they launched a sonic attack on your face parts.

then right when you ejaculated your awesome they were gone. well, they were still fucking there at the place, but they stopped playing. allegedly other bands were playing, but you'd already ejaculated your awesome out, and thought to yourself, 'well shit, what the fuck else could even be cool after that.' then you waited. La Fin Du Monde fucking played and pretty much single handedly nuked hiroshima with way too many bass guitars.

so while the japanese picked up their radioactive rubble, Intronaut got their shit set the fuck up. now, I'm not one to be stingy, but they were fucking cool. i almost forgot that real life was even happening, partly because most of my King Cobra had Cobra Commanded my ass, and I had started launching Torpedoes, but also because they were fucking cool.

so after the third Torpedo had blasted another naval vessel into broken apart shit, Kylesa came on and tore apart our financial system, and crashed the stock market into the fucking moon. holy shit. If you don't think that's possible fuck you; you weren't even there. you were probably in your mom's basement eating pop tarts and watching pokemon.

if you thought that nothing cool ever came from Georgia, think again, because you're wrong.